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Friday, February 4, 2011

What If?

On her drive across the Bay, she thought of silly jokes. It was kind of their thing, laughing uncontrollably at jokes that should only be told by a 5 year old. “Two guys walk into a bar, Sam Clam’s Diner, Tied in little Nazis,” the kind of jokes only good friends and a couple of drinks can turn hilarious. She wasn’t sure why she was going there anyway. To show off to her ex with her shiny new car and shiny new diploma? But she knew it wasn’t about him, hadn’t been for a long time. She was there to see Greg.

Greg. He was always the one, wasn’t he? Even when dating Chris for all those years, she knew Greg was in the room just across the hall. Nothing ever happened between them, nothing physical anyway. But the tension was there, and before she left, it was palpable, and they weren’t fooling anybody. But she went east, leaving both her stale relationship and her desire behind.

But three years goes fast, and now she’s back. She has a new degree and a new job, even a new apartment, but thinking about Greg, she felt the same old butterflies. Maybe she hadn't changed as much as she thought.

As she rounded the familiar corner, she started to reconsider. She could always call, tell him something came up, would visit another weekend. But she kept driving, strong with her desire to catch even a glimpse of her old life, and hopefully bring one piece of it into the new one.

He was waiting when she pulled up. “Nice car.”

“Thanks.”

Neither of them were very good at silence, so they talked small talk, “Weather’s great, I see they replaced the curtains, how’s your sister?” Eventually one of them brought it up. “Why didn’t we ever get together?”

“I wanted to.”

“I know, me too. But.”

The butterflies kicked in again, but she was bold. “But what? Why don’t we?”

“Chris is my best friend. I can’t do that to him.”

“But he was bad to me. Cheated when I was gone. And besides, that’s been over a long time now. Almost three years.”

“It doesn’t work that way. We can’t.” And it was over, just like that. Before it even began.

They took a drive in the new car. She took him home, said goodbye, pretending not to be heartbroken. They kissed when he left, but just briefly, an acknowledgement to the shared feelings but final enough in its austerity. He shut the car door, and as he walked away, she rolled down the window. “Hey Greg?” He turned around.

“Knock knock.”

“Who’s there?”

“Olive.”

“Olive who?”

“Olive juice.”

“You too, Nina.”

She waited until she was out of sight before letting the tears fall. She only cried about it that one time, told herself it was for the best – a clean break from her old life, a true fresh start. But even now, over ten years later, she sometimes thinks about that day. Wonders whether she should have fought harder, made the compelling case her law degree should have trained her to do. But the time never seemed right. He met someone, she did too, and their lives moved forward as lives do. They still see each other from time to time, both now married, mostly happily. But despite herself, she always wonders, “what if?”

This piece was written as a part of The Red Dress Club. This week's prompt was to write a short piece in which a character told a joke and a character cried. The piece has to be maximum 600 words and must be able to be read aloud in no more than 3 minutes. It is from an NPR contest called Three-Minute Fiction.

11 comments:

Christy said...

very well written story, and an emotion I can understand for sure.

funny story -- I dated a Chris in high school whose best friend was Greg ;-)

Not Just Another Jennifer said...

I think we all have a "what if" in our past! Nicely done! Great job working in the jokes. :)

jp@A Green Ridge said...

I had a friend in high school named Greg. This reminded me of him! Thanks for taking me back!

Jessica said...

This was really good, I was hooked on your character and worried about what was going to make her cry right from the beginning. Love your new place for fiction.

Carrie said...

I was hoping they would get together! Damn guy code :(

Great piece. I really liked it.

Visiting from RDC

Cheryl said...

Sigh. The "what if" guy. And she totally gave up too easily!!

Fun story!

Anonymous said...

Oh why did they let her ex come between them? It makes me sad that she has a "what if" guy. Although, honestly, I think most women do.

Fantastic story.

Elizabeth Flora Ross said...

I love the joke and the way he responded! Very clever.

LisaDay said...

Well done.

Thank you for popping by on my SITS day.

LisaDay

Valerie Boersma said...

The "what ifs" can haunt a person for the rest of their life. But sometimes "what ifs" might be better than what might actually have been:)

Andrea said...

Great writing. Just catching this one now. I liked it a lot. I want to know more ... and yet think the what if ending is perfect just as it is.

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